Friends, Enemy, and In Between 

(Reflection from Nehemiah 6:1-19) 

"Friends or Enemy"

“Christian Reflection on Relationship” 

---

How can we tell who our true friends are? 


In our daily relationships, we often find stories or experience from ourselves about how painful when we was betrayed by a friend. 

We may never have thought that someone who has been with us for a long time, could suddenly be the one who stabs us in the back. Or just take advantage secretly from us. 

Or in the case of Nehemiah, those closest to us are simply sent to intercede by his enemies. Nehemiah's enemies knew that their words would not be believed by Nehemiah, and as a strategy to harm Nehemiah they used intermediaries – Nehemiah own friends. 


How did Nehemiah deal with his enemies? 
How could Nehemiah tell who is a good friend and who is not? 

# 1 No Need To Be In Direct Connection 

When Sanballat and Tobi and Geshem, as well as other enemies, were looking for trouble by sending people to deliver messages to Nehemiah; Nehemiah knew that they had bad intentions (v. 2). 


But Nehemiah was not provoked and could cleverly deal with their bad intentions in the same way as his enemies, which are by answering them through messengers. 


The basic principle is of course we do not make enemies and do not seek enemies. But often the enemy comes by themselves. Some will seem to automatically dislike us. 

*(Read also: Haters Will Always Be There) 



And when he tries to find trouble with us, we don't need to get in touch with them directly. 

Often times we don't even need to respond. 


But if these people keep bothering us, it would be foolish to directly respond to them. That's what they want. 



The best way to deal with them is not to have to come into contact with them. There's no need to be emotional. Just let them interfere. 

And if they attack through other people, we just send a reply message also through other people. 

# 2 No Need to Respond to Gossip 

When we are trying to be productive and find solutions, there are people who will try to break our concentration with things that are not important. One of them is gossip. 

So many people respond to gossip too explosively. 

 

Constantly explaining is often pointless. By doing that, sometimes we are even more provoked to sin. 

Then what do we need to do? 

Like Nehemiah, keep focused on the vision and the work (v. 9). 

 

Show evidence of truth by work, not with words. 

We can have the same faith as Nehemiah, that God will defend us and show us the truth (v. 16). 

God will not be silent to see his child mistreated. 


People who gossip like it when their gossip is responded to with great fanfare. 

Don't give them that pleasure! 

If for them it is very important, we show that for us it is just "your figment" = not important at all. 

# 3 Discerning Friends 

Then, how do we distinguish between friends who are true or who are not? 


There are words of wisdom: 

A friend who likes to lead us into trouble is not a friend. 

A good friend is a friend who will continue to point us to safety and peace. 


It is NOT A FRIEND if he deliberately wants to harm us. 
It is NOT A FRIEND if he gives us advice or invitations to do the wrong thing. 
It is NOT A FRIEND if he continues to be a provocateur or a rioter, divisive (vv. 17-19). 

To be sure: a sycophant is NEVER a good FRIEND.

 

---

Read also: Life without Mask